This Motherf*cking Virus

Sunday, 25th July 2021

Another brilliant book on Audible I’ve downloaded in the last few weeks: DC Comics The Sandman – I know, I don’t care at all for any comic-derived shit – with the Dark Knight being about the only DC movie I’ve ever even liked and I couldn’t give a rats left nut about the DC “universe”, but this audiobook; it’s really good: there’s no batman bullshit, but demons in hell, Lucifer Caine and Able and the Lord of Dreams (Sandman, Morpheous – main protagonist) who controls the dreams of everybody and is imprisoned for seventy years while the world goes mental from either never sleeping or never waking-up.

But, it’s the potent orchestral score and equally powerful voices that make it worth the $16 and the breadth of the storyline makes it much more epic than any other – earthbound – DC shit.

I’m listening to it for the forth time simply for the production quality.

Thursday, 22nd July 2021

I just cracked the pinata and spilled the beans on my childhood to Scarlett: not only divulging the general tone and circumstances, but a several-thousand-word avalanche of text, describing what it was like more expansively than I have to anyone since Michele some eight years ago.

I’ve not gone into such vivid detail nor given much thought to any of it since I was with her, but taking a fresh look at the lowly morass of parenting I had to endure it’s little surprise I’ve got personality issues and a fucking attitude problem: anyone less stable than myself raised in so poor an environment would have spent their lives stabbing kittens for fun.

There’s so many more examples of shit so weird from a woman so demented, someone should’ve stopped her having a kid before she had the chance.

Wednesday, 21st July 2021

So many characters to create: what have I got – six so far.

But Michele’s asked me to go read a bunch of short stories of hers, so that’s my night.

They’re good, especially one about a dystopian future where humans don’t exhibit emotional responses to anything because we’ve advanced ourselves to the point where emotions are considered negative and eliminated from the human species – until some transit worker stumbles upon a heart-shaped artifact he digs up that afflicts him with all kinds of feels about stuff before being immediately arrested then vanished to a “re-education center” for a nice hot mug of calm-the-fuck-down because he’s going apeshit laughing at everyone and keeps smiling like a fucking creep.

That one, that’s got all kinds of potential plot-threads that can be expanded upon and – given the short itself was very, short – I would most definitely be into a full-length expanded version.

+1.

Monday, 19th July 2021

This Imajica.. epic book.

I’ll have to re-listen to it to get all the shit I’ve missed but it’s a pretty vivid depiction of what ends-up being a creation-wide stand-off between heaven and hell, with the epic coming in the way all these scenes are so visually descriptive.

Yet, the author’s removed any trace of talk about boring traditional religious standards as we know them: there’s no Christianity or whatever the opposite of that’s meant to be – Satanism I suppose.. (Satianity?) – just creation and destruction represented as ambiguous forces operating over five planes of existence which well, now I read that back out loud sounds not too exciting but it’s so well written, it is.

Wouldn’t mind a half dozen Gekar’gek’s to escort me around the place: horse-sized creatures with heads as flat as a shovel full of razor sharp teeth and hairless skin black as tar – goodbye waiting in line like, ever.

Saturday, 17th July 2021

Where, is my woman.

The woman who feels like an ancient soulmate and acts like it; who saves me knowing the quality and intensity of warmth, love and adoration now hers as a result are without equal; the woman I want to chase because I know that she knows it’s an expression of that love – not the same stale act I’ve unrolled for countless women before her.

Trustworthy, the one I know won’t even think about betraying me because she knows there’s no coming back once that happens.

I’m sick of ill-fated trial-runs with women I shouldn’t be trying with – like looking down the barrel of a lifetime filled with compromise – or settling for the kind of average pairing everyone else pretends they’re happy with.

Only She will do yet I don’t even know who she is let alone where which is, a bit irritating.

What I do know, is enabling my creativity is the only way to draw her out and creativity in digital form is the only way worth the time investment, so painstaking, hand-carved objects of beauty only one person ever gets to see are obviously a waste of effort.

My left contact lens is pissing me off..

Tempted to flick it and shove a new one in, but so far I’ve only opened two of the dozen new contacts I ordered a few weeks ago – yes the Acuvue with transitions photosensitive tinting – which is, well, commendable really – good job, me: I usually use-up the new ones quickly out of laziness, then continue using the opened lenses until they’re fucked but these are really nice lenses that cost me almost three times as much as regular Acuvues, so I’m making a conscious effort not to be mindlessly wasteful with ’em.

And with the remaining credit I had on Audible, I purchased a monster of a book: Clive Barker’s Imajika – a 37 hour epic that’s, well I’ve actually lost the plot since going into town – subsequently being distracted shopping so I’ve no idea what’s going on – and I really should rewind a half dozen chapters but with 27 hours still to go I’m assuming the plot will become, mentally located, at some point now I’m paying attention again.

Horror-themed, but with much more depth and breadth than any horror movie I’ve seen..

Also: I received your package, Ms Scarlett..

Also also, recently discovered I fucking love fresh sliced onion and cheese rolls – I know it’s not a combination that would strike me as inspirational if anyone suggested it and with only two ingredients it’s simple A.F, but those two ingredients go together really, surprisingly well: on it’s own the onion is just peppery nasty shit – with the cheese, the pepperiness has it’s spikiness softened while it breaks-up the rich, monotonous flavour of the cheese.

And, the fresh juiciness of the onion with the um, blocky thickness of the cheese = +1.

Oh and using full-fat Sour Cream instead of butter, that’s another +1.

I’ve got shit to do: I cannot create while there’s mess around me – especially not when my own person is so fucking beautifully kept – and have to add some Apple Pie to the vanilla-bean ice-cream eliquid that’s finally steeped long enough to be tasting very nice but single-layered, so adding Apple Pie (Capella v1), will sweeten it nicely.

Plus Rose: gotta add a few drops of Rose to the White Chocolte & Cream mix that’s been steeping a few weeks – after getting into those little turkish delight chocolate bars lately, I want Turkish Delight vape juice.

I have so many little bottles of eliquid mixes it’s fucking ridiculous: two cupboards with about a square meter of shelf space in each that’s just FULL of all these godamn little 30mL bottles – each with some mix I’ve, mixed, put away to steep then completely forgotten about.

It’s why I stopped giving any fucks about mixing juice: comes a point where you SEE how much shit you’re accumulating, then see how little you’re actually vaping, then see you’re STILL mixing MORE juice you’ll never fucking use and – being sane and not prone to illogically being swept away in pastimes that’re a waste of time and effort – decide it’s fucking insanity to keep collecting more and more and more flavours and mixing more and more and more shit I don’t need.

I like custards, so I mix custards and then I vape those custards: that’s the start and end of my involvement in eliquid mixing – now I’ve realized it’s just another example of pointless, mindless consumerism gone mad.

I’ve also grown super-into this just-add-water “plant protein shit you buy in bags to turn into burger patties”: that short-lived phase of eating a chicken breakfast burger every morning (short-lived ’cause it was slowing me down way too much – working within half an hour of eating it each morning), I’ve stayed sweet on burgers, but shifted to the vegetarian ‘burger mix’ because it’s, well it’s always ready – chicken expires, needs to be defrosted an hour or so yeah, whatever [stop!]: chicken = hard, sludgy-arse-vege-burger-shit = easy.

Sludgy-arse burger crap wins – +1.

The book, that’s between Scarlett and myself until there’s something worth revealing or I feel like otherwise, though currently I’m just thinking and visualizing and writing notes to get myself familiar with the ideas, which are far easier to imagine-up than organize in a coherent manner.

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