Cicadas, are quite stupid :)

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Darker in tone, vividly expressive emotionally colourful, with romantic inclinations developing for a certain someone.

Created on Thursday, 1st October 2020 at 12:30 AM by Jason


Sunday, 25th October 2020

9:45 PM

Michele has just tested it too: my verminator(); works beautifully.

Unless that bitch uses another device altogether (Woman #7 not Michele), but you know I farm so much information from every visitor to every page, you can't even breathe next to a device connected to this site without me knowing all about it.

And changing the code if she changes devices is easy.

7:19 PM

I've done it, I think...

Yep! Joanne tested it for me: fuck I'm good :)

No IP block, because I didn't even need to use the IP to end her visits and vanquish the bitch (Woman #7 not Joanne), though by vanquish I mean there are still ways she can visit the site using other devices or public networks perhaps, but all those methods are SO easy to block - while it takes her time to physically travel to wherever another new wifi network is located to connect and use it, blocking any new wifi network takes me mere seconds and a single copy/paste - even from my phone, anywhere.

So I've vanquished her phone really, which is the only dynamic way she can connect to read the site anymore: the other home wifi IP's I've determined to be used by her were already blocked and like I just said any new ones use static IPs and are so easy to get rid of they don't warrant mentioning.

And here I am, still talking about that cunt of a woman you might be thinking, but really I'm talking about myself: creating a script that's a mere few lines of code yet completely stops targeted visitors to the site dead in their tracks without using their IP address - let alone a username - that's pretty clever - the fact she happens to be the reason I created a verminator() class hardly grants her any role in the process.

That's really a good chunk of code I've created actually: just four lines of code, the more I think about it the more I'm impressed with myself.

Do a Google search for "How to block visitors with dynamic IPs from my website" and you'll find nothing of any use to you - just links about using Apache2/CPanel's "IP Blocker" which only works to successfully block static IP addresses that never change and that's useless for a visitor using a mobile data connection - their IP changes every time their phone reconnects to another tower, when they reset their phone or just randomly when the phone carrier decides to change it and that can be up to twice a day.

I know - I've been using Aldi's mobile data network for 5 years now and still don't have any plan to start a home wifi/NBN account.

12:30 PM

Within an hour last night, I had the 'search & match' aspect of vermin-control() done: not only successfully blocking my own visits from my phone, but targeting Firefox itself without ever needing to use the IP address at all.

The issue I had was that I'd used a simple, instant page redirect to fuck the browser off to some random wikipedia page and though it worked fine it wasn't technically blocking: the diary page *still* loaded, it just didn't stay on the page long enough for anyone to be able to read what's on it.

Then I realized: the only way I really want to do it is by checking whether the visitor is blocked then having get_content() refuse to load-in the diary file at ALL when vermin-control() returns $blocked = TRUE;.


Saturday, 24th October 2020

9:11 PM

Joanne has ordered me to block the wrinked, pasty, menopausal old slapper - an entirely fair request.

Tells me she is fed-up reading about the creature and - being the far better woman in every respect from attractivity to morality to social class - she can have whatever she wants which is for it to be gone and I'm sure she'd have happily edited this herself with a single press of the BACKSPACE key but I've trimmed it down anyhow: I really shouldn't edit what I've written when I'm tired at night because all I ever do is add more that makes the whole passage amount to less.

Might take me a few days to create a script that reliably blocks mobile phone connections, but I will: she also wants me to make it irreversible, which I explained was not really possible since I wrote all the code that runs the site from the ground up so I obviously have full access to any/all programming I do - but I can set & forget said blocker when it's done.

Beautiful wants, Beautiful gets.

5:11 PM

Took me until just now, but I found a photo beautiful enough to match it's intended recipient: a tiny, delicate flower about the size of a frozen pea - tucked away in a rainforest and so insignificant surrounded by all those other plants I can guarantee I would've been the only living thing to notice this little flower in the several days it remained in bloom 💕

She says it looks like COVID-19 - charming :)

Tiny, soft and feminine: this flower was so small it was less than a single centimeter in diameter and required a super-macro lens attachment to capture from a few millimeters away as it sat there in Leura Forest during the first few days of the year of homelessness to come 💕

At that time I remember spending all day every day in the heart of town surrounded by the general public - feeling like everybody was staring at me, I was so sure by their looks every last one of them just knew how fucking gutted and heartbroken I was and everywhere I tried to go I was still surrounded by the same fucking people staring at me..

After a few days of that - being in the center of town all day, every day - all those eyeballs and fucking faces seeing me on the edge of tears all day with NO private place to go so NO *privacy* ever - I HAD to get out of there and find somewhere private where everyone couldn't gawp at me.

Already having spent those 16 months living in the valley in much happier circumstances, that's the first place I thought to go and I still remember the bus out to Echo Point seemed to take an eternity to finally arrive, having to fighting back tears the whole time I was waiting there and not all that successfully - eyes blurred with double vision as I got on the bus, having to wipe my eyes with a bus full of tourists staring at me and *still* trying to think about anything to just hold-off the tears until I get away from people and down onto the trails where *finally* nobody would see me.

It has to be said too that although I'd just lost my shit and was miserable when this photo was taken, the homelessness ended-up being more fun than I ever figured it could've been: much the same way camping out there for those 16 months really sucked at the start I adapted to the new set of circumstances very quickly and got better at being homeless just as quickly.

Once I'd found a safe, private place to sleep every night and grew used to being surrounded by people in the middle of town all day, I leaned-in to being continually social and started having a good time with it.

You'd be amazed at how fast an adaptable person can internally reshape and reconfigure themselves to fit into situations that would've seemed unthinkable once: then there are other people who cannot change or refuse to and I imagine those people - fixed in their ways - would have a much more difficult time than those of us with flexible personalities.

There you have it: an original photo of a fittingly lovely flower for you I've never posted online and the story of how I ended-up out there to take it 💕

Oop - it's finished updating..

Photoshop 2021 has been released, case anyone wants :)

Oh and whenever you're here Joanne, go there and click Light or Da oh there she is... I'll just, tell her..

3:23 PM

I am looking but I'm just not finding any photos taken during rainy weather I can even pass off as taken today..

I've never really thought about natural lighting consciously before since like most people I'm not apt to walk around outside when it's pissing rain - with or without a camera - but sunshine, sunshine gives more than just intensity of light - it creates more vivid colours, creates hard lines for clarity and most importantly sunlight creates shadows to border all those brighter coloured sections of a photo.

Rain makes *everything* dull and there's no defined shadows so you just end up with pale grey garbage and of course I'm aware of all different kinds of light, I've just never taken a moment to deliberately consider them because it's intrinsic knowledge that doesn't need to be thought about.

My phone has stopped fuckit.. why do people bother making episodes that only run for twenty minutes..

Anyway you're going to just have to be happy with a beautiful photo taken when the weather was good, though I really hate using photos I haven't taken specifically for the purpose or person I want them for: like repackaging a gift someone gives you then giving it to someone else - it clearly demonstrates a complete lack of respect for both people.

That's pretty random though - nothing to do with anything - and this is not a re-purposed gift, but one photo of an endless stream you'll get from me whether you want 'em or not and I've got plenty of photo's I've taken just because they're attractive and never used so at least it'll be new and not intended for anyone else..


Friday, 23rd October 2020

10:30 PM

God I feel fucking great..

I had started writing out a dialog a moment ago, about Wombat shit being square and why on earth any animal would evolve to have shit shaped like stock cubes, but sitting here now, thinking about these changes that're so profound as to be almost on par with some kind of weird, inter-personal alchemy, I decided I don't need to waste my time trying to make square shit seem funny.

In the space of just two days I've had the utter misery of five years wasted on cheap filth reduced to ash with that entire chapter definitively dead forever; that intense, exquisitely unique, multi-faceted and constantly undulating personality has finally found it's way back home to me like my favourite pet - still gleaming like new; I've gained a mutually felt emotional attachment with a *gorgeous* woman who genuinely cares about me and who is physically as beautiful as she is lovely..

A gorgeous woman whose level of care and understanding *increases* instead of *decreases* the more she learns about me - even with all the stupid shit she knows I say, do and think.

Both my heart and soul have been returned to me.

I guess Joanne didn't just happen in the past few days but I just assumed we were only connected by mutual interest in interesting podcasts with casual flurries of texts around that: I certainly never assumed she was invested or cared about me any deeper than casual conversation.

Serene - that's the word I'm looking for 💕

7:30 PM

'No wall' - what a comforting change 💕

Seeing how it's been well over a year since I've even thought to look for subjects pretty enough to make good 'Photo of the day' candidates, I completely forgot to seek out that photo so you will have to just be happy with this random snap I took while repotting some plant this afternoon at the nursery..

Never mind all that: Joanne has provided the photo-of-the-day herself, with an image that looks as though it could've come right from the Better Homes & Gardens: Healthy Living edition and everything on that breadboard looks great except that awful, awful blue-cheese - blurgh!..

It smells like some species of toxic bacteria Babe - don't, nooo god, don't eat it!!

I helped her choose the wine and food options and though apple and cheese was my recommendation, it sure as shit wasn't stinky blue cheese: Rose wine, pink apples and the longest-aged cheddar that's there.

I have absolutely no idea which species I was repotting because I really couldn't be less interested in native flora if I tried, which isn't a negative statement even if it reads that way - being a seventh-generation decendent of convicts, I've spent my entire life surrounded by native plants and I just can't see the novelty - they're almost always dry, arid and ugly with muted colours so faded the greens look grey - like a photo with the vibrance turned all the way down to 0.

I like plants fine, just not the dry gumtree/eucalypt/banksia crap - *shrug* gimme a lush rainforest teaming with vivid greens any day.

I will go out and find you a beautiful photo tomorrow.

Promise 💕💕

4:28 PM

Everybody I've interacted with in the last few days - without exception - has been SO much more engaged and engaging, because *I* have suddenly transmuted back into my former self, snapped back into being happy to engage again and returned to being as mentally agile as I was when I first came out of the valley - finally, my personality and my heart are mine again after years of being hidden under all those layers of bullshit..

Firstly, I was *never* depressed in the first place: it was all the result of a cheap, morally bankrupt first-date-fuck who's lied like a cunt all her life telling *every* man she's ever been with that *he's* the one for *her*; knowing from day one he's nothing of the sort but doing whatever is required to make him believe he is, because that allows her to more effectively *use* him for maximum personal gain - slowly discovering in stages and over years, "THAT is what she REALLY is underneath the thin film of charm" - that was the only source of any of my depression the past five years - just like the silly cunt before me and the silly cunt before him and on and on back through all the dumb cunts who ever tried and failed to find evidence of her being more than just a small town slut who thinks far too much of herself.

She's no better than anyone else, but yet again she knows that if she just acts as though she's far too good for the commoners and does so convincingly, that'll rub off on *ANY* idiot stupid enough to allow her delusion to influence them - before you know it you start actually believing she's too classy to lie, or be a slut or a sneaky cunt behind your back which yet again none of that's true at all.

Just a 5' sack full of nothin' but bullshit.

Anyhow I analyzed that whole mechanism this morning - on my second coffee - to determine how I could feel so much more like my old self so quickly.

The answer came, very quickly: the attachment was the product of the remaining positive emotions - the little flame I'd foolishly kept burning year after year: with those positive emotions eliminated all remaining attachment was eliminated too and without either, the veil was lifted to reveal peace of mind, happiness AND my personality were ALL right where I left them - I just couldn't see through all the bullshit the local town ride spent years filling my head with.

Who needs a psychologist when you can analyze and explain you're own inner behavioural drivers with crystal clear metaphors :)

I do believe that is quite as succinct as I can bothered making it.


Thursday, 22nd October 2020

And here's Joanne's photo of the day, taken in Lawson while waiting for the train..

Been a while since I've bothered looking for a daily photo, but there it is and I will admit it took quite a few blurry bees before finally getting one that stayed still enough for the whopping one second I needed to center and take the photo.

I guess one second is quite a while to your average insect.

5:35 PM

Thank god for you Joanne 💕💕

All day today she has listened and not only openly accepted my ranting and bitching but engaged with it, as well as bad jokes about the irksome love songs droning out the speakers in a public toilet I was hangin' a piss in and well, other things I said to amuse her, with so much empathy - it's been so long since I've known any woman who's *so* understanding, while in and around that understanding, she'd constantly realign my focus away from the half decade sewage-pit of a relationship I've finally escaped from to guide me back into talking about what a one of a kind original I am: all while she was working, while she was having her lunch break, all afternoon - all day she's given me her complete attention all, day.

7:30 AM this morning she started texting me and she has not stopped that continual communication since.

I really don't think I've *ever* known anyone who's THAT attentive - even the women I've been in relationships with - at the height of those relationships - never gave me that level of focus for more than a few seconds at a time before the phone would beep or the kid would start acting like a neurotic spastic or an animal would start acting like a spastic 💕

I told Joanne I'll have to grow a second pair of ears if I'm ever required to return the favor - on the offchance she has something pissing her off enough to want someone who'll listen, though I never asked her to listen: she just sensed I had something to get off my chest and encouraged me to do just that - now I'm content since the yarping is out of me.

She even dedicated me a song on spotify.. where is it.. here: though it's a bit chick-flick for my regular playlists, it's very sweet: Rainbow | Casey Musgraves

I know all this praise-for-Joanne might appear contrived or like I'm laying it on pretty thick, but she literally gave me her full attention for her entire day without my even requesting it and I just don't know anybody that astute or tuned-in, so I'm fucking astonished by that and I could edit this whole section down into something much more elegantly worded, but I don't need to - I've simply streamed the thoughts out raw as they've arrived - she'll be fine with the raw version.

Impossible to even compare her with these two nasty slags, who won't even fake kindness until they're guaranteed to *get* more than they *give* from any target in their social network: skulking around the shadows, rubbing their claws together, giggling to themselves reading about how fucked off I am without even the slightest inclination to interact - both gettin' their sick jollies waiting for the train-wreck to go down - "Ooo Ooo!"..

There is no substitute for genuine, anything really - especially genuine good.

Not only did Joanne avert the train wreck, she absorbed it head-on and all while softly delivering as many different variants of "Oh Babe :(" as I could ever hope to find in any conversation where understanding and empathy are the only two qualities I give a fuck about.

Finally, a woman I can call Beautiful again.

And though Michele doesn't troll around here all day like single mothers obsessed with knowing everything I have to say about them, I feel that I should add, that none of the above diminishes what an excellent friend she's been for what, a decade now, though even she wouldn't want to have me stream every thought at her for an entire day.

As I said, thank god for you 💕💕

I'm hungry now..

I also feel I should add Mandy, that though I don't find you disgusting like, well like I could, the fact remains that from way back in 2018 when I moved in here until a few weeks ago when you fled for Victoria, I never heard a peep out of you even as a friend: no texts, no emails, no phone calls, no 'I'm cooking lasange tomorrow night if you want to come and eat some' - no contact whatsoever so you'll understand being shovelled into the "Don't give a fuck" bin too.

10:20 AM

Soon as I've started gaining the hours again to get out of here, moving will be so much simpler: with everything in here being remnants of the past five years of nasty I can leave everything here and walk out: regardless where I end up moving, I don't want to take any of it with me; like a physical metaphor - all of it's just shit from the past I have no desire to drag around with me.

The two laptops, keyboard & mouse and two backpacks full of the most recent clothes I've bought - three bags is the most I'll have to take.

Plus the tablets and a few other devices and other practical bits and peices but they're all throw-in-the-bag things.

Oh look, they're coming out the woodwork now - Mandy you must be just rolling in all this like a pig in shit huh?

Well, not Joanne - she's continually been on my side of any issue since we started talking shit to each other in that university unit.

Excellent value that one.


Wednesday, 21st October 2020

3:59 PM

Tanya wasn't there last week, but she sure was happy to see me this morning.

Warmest greeting I've had for a while now: I was expecting a lecture about talking less shit and getting more done or 'If you're only going to distract everyone else while you're here..'

Or, her insisting I attend on Friday or Tuesday or any other day but Wednesday which would've instantly turned into an argument I was fully prepared to turn around and leave over - but nope, she was just happy to see me.

Shortly after that she'd taken me out back to pick a few trays she said she'd like weeded, but then starts with, 'While I've got you here I've gotta tell you something' which is almost universally followed by some bad shit, but even then nope: the thing she had to tell me, was that my trimming all the dead leaves off all the tubes (tublings?) last time I was there actually worked out beautifully and I was right.

"Oh okay", was about all I think I said - still surprised it wasn't an ear-chewing she was giving me: she went on to explain that not only did they sell all the plants I'd trimmed, those tubes shot-up with completely green leaves as they all grew back so the benefit to the plants themselves was profound and she wanted to thank me.

"Good", I tell her, "Everyone bitched and moaned about what a waste of time all that trimming was, so that's good.."

They all rolled their eyes at what I was doing like it wasn't a real thing, when I'd told them again and again that any customer choosing plants will choose neater, healthier looking tubes and it doesn't take long with one person weeding and the other trimming.

I was right.

I also pointed out just this afternoon before leaving, that the vent leading into the kitchen where the pre-cooked vegetarian food is prepared is attracting blowflies and pointed out the hundred-odd all attempting to fly into the vent: the vent right above the deep fryer he cooks up most of his gourmet food in - literally a cloud of flies.

"..now you can tell him he's got an insect problem - thank god for me right?".

I also told her I'm still a bit whatever about not being able to re-create the nursery's website for them - especially now I've finally started learning SQL, won't be long and I'll be able to copy and import the nurseries entire species database over to an SQL DB on their site and have customers query available species without any need to call or whatever - they'd be able to do it right from the site themselves before coming in.

That old stick-in-the-mud Veronica wouldn't have it: SHE updates the shitty site they have using shitty Microsoft Office and SHE doesn't want anyone messing with it so I didn't end up doing it.

Everyone else was just fine but that's all I'll say about that, because publically expressing every thought I have has never served me well.


Tuesday, 20th October 2020

9:01 PM

God I *love* Victorian Era London.. Even with the rats, plague, filth and all the rest, it's the buildings - they're just SO beautiful the way they lean and tilt and extrude.. as if every single structure was created individually without any concern for the surrounding buildings..

Just take the photo below, completely ignore whoever those arseholes are and look at the upper half of the photo - at the skyline: look at not only how many *different* shaped peaks and that huge spire at the back, the smooth-cornered roof in front of that... look at all the shapes going on in just this ONE photo, and so many other photos are just as visually *rich* to look at..

And then there's ALL the stonework: streets that're completely cobbled from one side to the other in different stone for footpaths and roadways with a gutter that looks purely decorative, the masonry, the chimneys topping the unstable-looking 3-4 story blocks and the fact so many of these structures don't seem to have a fuckin' right angle anywhere in them.

Compared to the shit-for-brain designs given to cookie-cutter dogshit we have now.. even the 'nicest' million-dollar contemporary houses just look sterile boxes compared to the buildings they created back then - at that was only 140 years ago.. what happened to peoples taste.. far out..

Seriously, I'm not taking the piss: every time I start back on looking or listening to anything Jack the Ripper, I envitably wind up looking at photos of that era and more than anything it's the architecture and shabby-looking buildings I love most.. the more I look at them, the more I ache to be there - away from all the perfectly straight lines and plastic and fucking colourbond /spits and concrete /SPITS and all the other hideous generic factory designed rubbish people these days just accept as being attractive because it's expensive or neat, when none of anything society now creates has ANY soul or spirit at ALL..

Cheap garbage backed by marketing bullshit: that's ALL our society produces now.

You hear the phrase "..don't make 'em like that anymore", but it's not even that they created flawless things back then: it's the imperfections that show you that every rock, every brick, every gas light fitting, every window frame, glass, ALL of it was made by hand and you can SEE it.. that's what makes the building back then SO gorgeous: the fact there's not a fucking straight line to be seen that's continually perfect, because bare-hands made everything you see.

If I could swap living in 2020 for the late 1800's I'd be there already.


Monday, 19th October 2020

5:10 PM

Right then.

Reading on these noisy insects I find that Cicadas actually live for several years - an awful long time for an insect to be living: almost all of it spent underground as grubs who bore through tree-roots however, which doesn't seem like much of a way to spend seven years of your life but I guess since that's all they know they're fine with it - then finally we see them energe as adults for just a few weeks before they all drop dead again.

Also their chirping can reach a volume of 120 decibels at close range hmm.


Sunday, 18th October 2020

6:09 PM

All diaries have been separated into individual files and each file works beautifully, though not through any frontend interface option yet: to swap-out one month's entry for another all I need do is change the filename in Guido's init_page() function - under the settings section for words_2 and everything else automatically loads into it's appropriate place.

I've also spend several hours creating a very attractive diagram that visually explains everything that happens as the page loads each time, though when I say "everything" I mean it's a very simplified drawing - there'd be simply nowhere near enough room to include all the variables that're send back and forth between functions or the logical operations going on within all these functions and classes, but all the basic functionality is here..

10:30 AM

Hmm..

Today's episode, and the only new one to pop for some reason..

Sword & Scale: +PLUS 78 Karina Vetrano

And here's an episode that's pretty amusing - rare for any true crime story, really - about Mark Twitchel: the complete and utter moron who wanted to be a serial killer because he was so in-love with Dexter he wanted to be just like him, but was so fuckin' dumb he got nailed by the cops on his first kill - really.. it's not often you get a story of any murderer being so innept.

Sword & Scale: Episode 137: Johnny Altinger


Saturday, 17th October 2020

8:30 PM

And just like that - the header background images are sorted.

3:08 PM

Know, what I'll actually do with the front page since I'm thinking about it, is have an icon panel linking to other pages I create - I like icons, and a nice neat grid of bespoke-drawn illustrations will be simple, direct and attractive.

I realize there's still only one main page - this one - but I've got several other pages that've accumulated in my brain over the last few months there's just no point adding them until I've got the mechanics of the site's engine decided upon or I may as well be trying to shove a boot, cup or other random object in a car engine, then have to rearrange the entire engine around that boot or cup just to make it fit.

That's clearly a stupid way of doing things.

2:07 PM

There's SO many of them though, it just doesn't matter how many are stepped on, run over, hit moving vehicles or get eaten by cats - there are *always* MORE: you could go out there with a tennis raquet and spend all day smacking them around - there'd still be too many for them to ever be quite.

Just as well their chorus of surround sound scritching doesn't annoy me right? Must be what having tinnitis is like, but much louder and more intrusive - yeah.

Doesn't annoy me at all..

I probably should at least post a photo of a Cicada now I've changed the post title huh..

Hmm.. really, the air has become so thick with the fat little fuckers the novelty has kinda worn off: seeing them all over every tree you walk past, sitting on posts and poles and clumbsily flying past - wings only just managing to keep those fat, stubby bodies in the air and only for a few meters at a time.

Shitting yourself for a moment when you're walking down the street and suddenly hear a loud, urgent *BZZZZZZZZZZ* just in time to realize it's coming from under your shoe and avoid crushing another dumb Cicada - they are everywhere.

A takeover.

You know, if Joanne's simply mentioning "It's a bit dark" led to me immediately creating the light theme, the code changes to fork content based on tone, user logins, cookies, encrypted validation keys - all that happened within a week or so, because of ONE comment from ONE woman I'm not even fucking.

Imagine how much more I'd get done with a woman I am fucking and who's actively pointing-out shit to improve the site, opposed to my just being left do what I feel like when I feel like doing it.

This morning's podcast is The AT&T story [Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] which isn't an exciting enough series to be sharing, but I like stories about technologies and the companies that create them - there's no emotional leveraging or reaction required: just interesting facts.

Some of the best podcast series I've listened to about how companies started are the history of Kodak, the Kellogg cereal brothers and their seething hatred of one another, IBM's "Deepblue" mainframe that beat a world chess champion who'd never lost a single game to anyone before that and the founding and building of Atari gaming systems - that was probably the best of the lot.

I should create a page to list all the kickarse episodes and series I find, because there's SO many - thousands of podcasts - and 90% of them are absolute shit, but once you finally compile and subscribe to a dozen or so good ones there's usually new episodes worth listening to constantly popping.

Course Joanne has gone back to her own life and though I could go drag her in here demanding she do something - and she would get here and do it too - there's nothing new enough on the frontend requiring human interaction to justify doing that.

Nothing requiring 'testing' because I get my code right the first time so there's just no such thing as bugs in my programming.

I still share any standout podcast episodes or series I happen upon with both her and Michele since I listen to a constant stream to the point I don't give a shit about TV or iView or Netflix or any other video content anymore - it's been weeks since I've even switched the TV on to watch the news and the new season of Archer; though I want to see that I know I can just binge the full season if I wait instead of waiting for each weekly episode to be released.

What else I really want to do is change the featured image section so it's reading the image in from the diary file again, because I manually over-wrote that option when creating the new theme and forced it to use the image I pasted in, which isn't how it was meant to go: everything about the post's attributes, meta data and content should to be read-in from the *.diary file, so that swapping-out that file changes not only the text content but header image, title, page info and excerpt and everything else that appears on the page.

The page itself - index.php - is just an empty container that's filled with the *.diary file I attach to it and apart from the featured image, that's just how it works currently.


Friday, 16th October 2020

10:58 PM

Fuck it, I'll sort the post separation shit out this weekend.

Especially now I've cut a full five month section off the end of this post: I can split each month into a seperate diary file and use each of the six files mood analysis stats to get the average value for $positives, $negatives, $expressives, $emotives, $curses and $romantics and finally *know* what level is < or > that average.

With such a simple calculation as an average alone I'll have a baseline of what is 'normal' for my writing regarding how much swearing I do, what the postive:negative ratio usually is, my typical range for $emotional, $expressive and $romantic words as well as my average wordcount of course.

Add a little additional code and I can have the current page continually recalculate the average and include it along with the current month's stats: as I update the current entry that average for all posts will change dynamically at the same time as the stats for the current month will change and then I can think about what other information I can extract from the two sets of numbers.

Instead of having both sets of statistics actually, I can just use an UP or DOWN arrow next to each statistic to indicate whether it's currently ABOVE or BELOW the average or simply display the difference between the average and the current stat: "[-46 $pos | +12 $neg | +33 $exp | -15 $emo | +17 $cur | -21 $rom]" for example, but already I see that means I can instead use completely visual indicators since I'll know that *difference* so can have a [coldest-colder-cold-average-hot-hotter-hottest] type range of icons for each word group.

Or have *both* the numeric differences *and* the sexy icons, which is obviously better because more is always more.

Course thinking it up isn't creating it, but failing to visualize how it'll all unfold and what will happen if you overlook some crucial detail simply through dumb lack of consideration - that sucks a whole lot more than pausing a while to map it all out before nailing it first go.

2:50 PM

Now I'm back home with a mouse, I've cut the previous five months off the diary - trimming it back down to a lithe 10,000 words.

I've really gotta sort that: create an interface and/or way to easily create new entries at the start of each month, since - though I was liking watching the wordcount climb to 70,000+ words - nobody on earth is going to be scrolling down through that much text to read back over any of it - I'm sure as shit not going to, so there's just no point having that much excess writing on the page, yet to add it as a seperaate entry that can be linked means manually changing this entry plus creating new HTML, PHP and whatever: manually swappng-out diaries is too much hassle - I've got to get around to creating an automated way to do it with a click or two.

And now, Porcupines: Little Stabby Cutie Pies which really aren't that cute from what I've already heard, with 'new world' Porcupine Quills being like fish-hooks that stick in your skin and are very difficult to remove and equally painful, plus they carry rabies - so being stuck with a quill means much more to worry about than simply being stabbed of course there's neither rabies or Porcupines in Australia so, good.

Not only are they not cute, they sound like little fuckheads: chewing the inner bark right around trees - killing tree after tree all winter.

Large, wild, disease-filled guinea-pigs with fish-hooks for fur.

12:11 PM

I returned that Sherlock Holmes book: Stephen Fry might have a decent enough voice but he's sure as shit no character actor - just the same tone of voice, chapter after chapter and the writing really wasn't anything to write home about anyway.

Took one story of Sherlock *never* getting anything wrong and the hoity-toity attitude that accompanied that, plus Watson's endless awe and submission to the great almighty Sherlock Holmes - to which Watson was but a lowly worm - and I was out: it's just too artificial and contrived.

So I swapped the book for one about the canonical Jack the Ripper victims that details the lives of the five nasty, filth-spattered sluts that well, it's more interesting than the droning Stephen Fry's monotony: better written, better narrated, more discriptive.

Certainly, it's not enough to make me feel at all sorry for the five of them, but it's refreshing to have a different angle on the Whitechapel Murders than simply another discription of how they had their guts cut out and tossed across the pavement with a wet slapping sound.

Of the five though, Catherine Eddowes would have to be my favourite - if we were playing that game: though her autopsy photos are the most brutal, the solitary photo available of her alive show's her as the most attractive of the Rippers victims and listening to her background she sounds like a tiny woman packed with attitude.

I'll even uncharacteristically discard the chance to illicit the shock value of her mortuary photo and simply include the living image..

Serious looking, but attractive and yeah like I said, what's known about her indicates she had plenty more attitute and personality than we see in that photo.

Reminds me though, that I need to add a few more image-related shortcodes, so I can have them displayed in thumbnail, medium and large and full - that photo is too low quality to look good at all on my laptop screen.. on a little phone screen I suppose it'd look better though.

I tried to find an audio version of Jack London's "People of the Abyss" because I know that's a brilliant book, because I've read it, but the only copy on audible was some fkn russian translation - stupid to not have an English version when it's written in English.

They're backburning already in Lawson - whole town stinks like bushfire smoke already.


Thursday, 15th October 2020

6:14 PM

Here's a super-simple diagram of the way diary content is split into the various themes - including the red one I haven't created yet and without any key or explaination of colouring or whatever because it's simple enough not to require any - though that grey shit on the left represents non-logged-in content which should be attached to the base of the grey in the middle where the dark and light themes are, given grey = standard, public paragraphs paragraphs.

Of course I could do much better, but who wants to spend all night simply creating a more attractive diagram: I only started it to stick together a visual of how I'd want the red theme to be merged with the other content, then realized I didn't need to because it won't be merged.

Both dark and light themes add their respective content to the standard, public diary's content so regardless which of those themes is active, the main diary will still be displayed along with whatever dark or light writing might be there.

The red theme and the content that belongs to it won't have any other content woven in with it - that'd dilute it too much, so yeah whatever I didn't need to draw shit because it's faster to simply draw the visual in my brain.

Animated too: visuals I, mentally visualize.

1:34 PM

I passed both RMIT subjects - I'm pretty sure: I've still had no email with a definitive PASS or FAIL, and the programming lecturer has only JUST posted the last assignment score last night so maybe in another month he'll get around to sending out the end-results.

Either way my total for programming is 60.6% which really is pathetic, but honestly - the course delivery made it almost impossible for anyone to stay engaged and the last group/class onlone session we had with the course coordinator, 20+ people were spamming the chat window with SO MANY complaints about the programming unit that we couldn't start recording the session for about fifteen minutes and that lecturer had to finally ask everyone if they're finished complaining so he COULD start recording.

I did none of the weekly excercises for the full three months - just the assignments and even then I did a 2-day half-arse attempt.

So 60.6% is pretty good considering how little I participated in the course and it's content.

Really, if not for the fact Introduction to Programming used a different language and had set criteria for assessments, I could've simply uploaded some of the scripts from this site to my programming lecturer and passed with flying colours because the programming level of the unit was way below the skillset and knowledge I already had - even by the end of the course there was nothing being taught I didn't already know which is really just common sense when you consider all the self-learning I've done has been about the site and being interested in the application of the programming I'm learning for the site makes learning much easier - compared to "Here's a java IDE, make a program that prints your name and student number on the screen."

There's no overall grade for Intro to IT, but I know I did better there since that was the unit with all the group work and the 92% we got for the first group assignment more than compensates for the 76% we got for the one after and I think I got around 80% for my individual assignment at the start of the course, so we most certainly passed Intro to IT.

That means HECS will now be available to me for the rest of the degree, though I won't even bother enrolling until I'm in an organized frame of mind enough to care about studying again: there's a LOT more work than I thought there would be, and I don't want to risk simply scraping-in with a 60% pass in future simply because I'm too depressed and distracted to focus on the work.

Like at school, I paid almost no attention to any of the work - simple glancing for key terms in assignment criteria documents then guessing the rest - and did the bare mimumum I figured necessary to make it look like I'd done *something* close to what was required.


Wednesday, 14th October 2020

7:17 PM

Again, Audible sticks me for another $17 monthly subscription fee just when I'd all but forgotten the app was even installed, but - again - without actually buying a book I've been given the 1 monthly credit to spend on any book I like and of course that's how they stop you from taking the time to kill your sub: just after you get over the annoyance of having your account hit for another $16.95, you realize you've got a free book anyway, which rounds your annoyance into - somehow - feeling like you've just got a bonus in being given a book you would never have bothered buying at all.

Last month it was a book by the retired detective who nailed the Golden State Killer; this week though I didn't have the pateience or inclination for spending the usual amount of time that's prerequisite for me to choose a book I won't immediately regret buying: Sherlock Holmes: The definitive collection - 71 hours long, over 1 gigabyte in size and narrated by Stephen Fry, who has a very English voice - though I'm unsure whether I like Sherlock Holmes enough to make it through the full book cover-to-cover, I'm sure I can find enough of interest to me by flicking around chapters since there's what looks to be, yeah *dozens* of stories in here.. well, every story ..

We'll start with The Hound of the Baskervilles, because why not I've sure not read it though I know how well known it is.

2:28 PM

Given the date today and not wanting to be sitting around thinking about it like a fuckin' idiot, I finally got around to going back to the nursery this morning, and just got home after doing not much more than talking alternately to and making coffee for everyone.

Anyway who was there.. the usual crowd, I guess and after six months straight of having no social engagment with anyone other than local shopkeepers and cafe staff, any kind of face-to-face communication with familiar faces was enough to make me breathe an internal sign of relief.

Julie, her dad and I talked briefly about programming and databases: her being familiar with excel databases from her previous work and her dad being a super-intelligent mathematician who seems to know about everything technical, they were the two I was most hoping would be there today and they were, so that's good - stopped the feeling I was being eaten from the inside out by isolation and a complete lack of human contact.

Really: I like her dad as much as her - albeit for a vastly different reason.

Who else was there .. three others, but no Tanya, no Verity and really anyone else would've been background noise to me anyway so whatever minor small-talk I exchanged with them was *shrug*

I did fill two wheelbarrows with dirt but that's all there was to do there today because the nursery is currently open only two days a week.

There's my every-Wednesday planned-out for the forseeable future.

I need to finally create a dedicated, crimson-red theme: I've sort've half got around to doing one in the past but never finished it before wiping what I'd had and now I've got a very well considered structure for the stylesheets and page any red/love theme I create now will be much more uniform in its mm implimentation, yeah that's the word.

That'll mean I'll have the diary's writing split into four branches: light, main, dark and love and they're working out to be just like how I would've wanted the categories in wordpress to be arranged, but couldn't do it there because there's so many PHP files in the backend that I didn't write myself that altering any code in wordpress was a pain in the arse to navigate..

Not here though: here, I wrote everything from the ground up, and I know where and how everything works.

Another superfluous addition I'll get around to making eventually, is two or three little icons in the menubar (next to the username in the middle) with the current load of the two decicated CPUs, the currently used/free memory of the 4gb dedicated RAM plus the number of processes of the 200 available.

This will of course serve little practical use, but look excellent - like the speedometer on a vehicle - and populate that bar a bit more.

PHP has an extension that returns/reports server resource usage - I've just gotta read-up on how to use it.

Two visitors from China have found the site through baidu's search *and* gone the extra step in translating it to Chinese to read.

Probably arrived while searching 'Blue Mountains' or 'Katoomba' out of the small list of meta keywords I've added to each page, though I'm pretty sure international flights are still a no-go.

Speaking of keywords, I really should add more words: there's no real practical limit to how many you can have and google - well all search engines - use those keywords of course.. I think you get penalised for misleading the search engines with words that *aren't* relevant to your site/pages/content, but given I'm operating a diary site, I have a much wider range of keywords that're perfectly valid - I've just gotta sit and pick/write them out.. or make a script that scans the page then returns a list of the most commonly occuring words for me: automatically removing words like 'the', 'and' or other non-descriptive words wouldn't be hard and I can simply pick and choose from whatever other words are returned - which to include in the keyword list.


Tuesday, 13th October 2020

6:53 PM

So I have just walked in the door, having left at around 11:30 AM and not because of work, but because I've been getting trains to places instead of simply going into town lately: I've been to Penrith four days out of the last seven and still keep forgetting to check the pet-shops there for a pet rat.

Probably deliberarely, because I know for a fact a pet won't do anything to fill any hole that exists - whatever animal I buy will just piss me off and shit everywhere so why get one right?

Today it was Winmalee and what a fucking mistake that shit was: one hour standing around that stinking little shithole because I didn't realize when I got there that between 3:30 and 4:30 there's NO busses back to Springwood.

I tried getting coffee and using the criples bathroom to wet my face and hair and fuck around taking my time, but still when I walk out of that dinky little shopping 'village' I see the time was 3:15 - that was when I checked the timetable at the bus stop and realized 4:28 would be the next bus.

FUCK - an HOUR here? FUCK THIS PLACE!!!

I ended up going back inside again and trying to waste a bit more time with another coffee, but it was no use it's like - 10 minutes inside with air-con and nothing to do and I just wanted to get back to a train station so I could fuck-off outta there.

I did it though - waited that shitful hour in the stinking heat and if nothing else, it's kickstarted my summer colouring nicely and my nose/cheeks will probably be burnt tomorrow or the next day.

But, other than that hour in the sun today, I haven't been stuck anywhere for any length of time and compared to some of the general human suffering I've witnessed over the past week, one hour in the sun is nothing, really.

Did you know that salt was once considered so valuable it was more precious than gold and used to pay soldiers - it's where the word 'salary' originated, along with the phrase 'worth his salt'.

Can you imagine working all week for a sack of fucking salt?

Anyway, the most pronounced or dramatic example of human suffering I've seen was yesterday - while walking in behind this couple I've seen around town here and there, but not regularly enough to think they live here: they dress as though they come down from Lithgow and both can be seen whispering to each other while darting shifty looks around at people.

I've always had the impression they come to Katoomba to scam people and they've always given off a bad energy when I see them, so I was dubious just walking into the shoppin village at Coles in the afternoon - watching this bitch on crutches limbing her way into the shopping village while he seemed too impatient to wait for her.

I've walked up behind them and the second I've stepped beside her to overtake, her crutches 'slipped' and she went down like a sack of shit with a clatter and grunt - flat on her face.

I'd not be at all surprised if one of the group of people who rushed in to help had their wallet stolen or phone or something, because it's just an yeah - an aura of scam those two have and the fact she just *happened* to fall right outside the cafe and right in front of half a dozen people sitting in the outer tables looked remarkably suspect.

I wouldn't trust either of them as far as I could spit.


Thursday, 9th October 2020

6:19 PM

That Joanne, she's just managed to nudge me away from railing on about filth and onto the far more pleasant topic of fishing, when I've told her that although I grew-up on Maroubra Beach I don't miss the water or the beach at all, I *do* miss having the ability to go fishing.

Fishing for *food* specifically: the idea of fishing just for 'fun' or to throw them back after catching them is just dumb.

It's also odd that I never, buy fish from a store: I really don't care much about eating purchased fish and can take it or leave it, but fish I've caught myself, gutted then brought home to cook-up: I love that entire process.

True too - I miss being close enough to just grab a bucket, rod and some frozen bait then walking down to a wharf to settle in for a few hours.

Oh right yeah, course I went to Penrith for another bottle of my favourite aftershave: summer's coming and I'll be sweating enough to want any additional help I can get to smell better, plus - why not, I'm almost out of the bottle I bought at christmas and I'll be fucked if I'll be leaving it until I've completely run out or have to consider resorting to amy the aerosol spray cans of horrible supermarket shit like any tastless idiot teenager.

So I'm all set to smell awesome for another nine months or so.

Why else would I deliberately force myself to inhale that filthy Sydney air

Speaking of filthy air from heavily populated areas I've gotta go shower the pollution off and shave, so I can get out clean and mist myself with this remarkable scent.

I've described it before: with a warm, woody base scent (I now know is primarily from the tonka bean) and the freshness of citrus and bergamot comprising the 'upper' half of the scent, it's like someone took Old Spice and made it 10 times classier, deeper, more subtle and well it really is ten times more expensive so there's that, but there's also mixed 'spices' that aren't named contributing to the whole.

Overall it's subtle, warm and very sensual and the only fragrance I've ever had that smells like it suits me, so why would I allow myself to run out of it.

Love it.

5:32 PM

I've just switched podcasts halfway through an episode called 'Crush' that shines a light on the grubby practice of animal crush fetishes.

Seriously, I just asked Joanne this too: why do people need to always let themselves go in pushing the boundaries for more twisted, MORE kinky, MORE weird..

The episode started with an audio clip of a guinea-pig being crushed under a womans high-feel, then moved on to a kitten having it's ear crushed with - again - a high-heel and once the host annouced the next section was "Man's best friend", I stopped it and changed to something else.

It's like, people who're sitting there watching these videos while they shoot all over themselves: these people would've found normal sex more than enough at some point, until they let themselves go a bit kinky, then more then more, then there they are - vanilla sex doesn't do it for them anymore so they need sick shit to make themselves spurt.

This is part of my objection to standard porn and certainly the ocean of weird shit that follows on from that - even just ordinary porn affects people's conciousness and numbs them to normal sex with a fuckin' normal human being.

I'm not saying I've never viewed or used porn myself, but I always feel somehow .. dirty when I do: like I'm looking in someone's window or something and I have not wanted to view it for quite a few years now because I don't *want* to watch a beautiful woman having some arsehole come in her face - it fuckin' cheapens the woman beyond words and the more I expose myself to that, the less respect I'll have for women in general, nevermind what it does to my attitude towards sex and intomacy.

I'll reword that in a minute actually, because it's not even about respect for women so much as it's about about how I *value* them and having their value diminished in my own eyes.

Why can't people ever just take something as it is and be happy with what they've got without perverting it into nasty shit?

I've mentioned that too the odd woman here and there in conversion - that I don't have any interest in 'using' porn - and they've almost always appeared to not believe me at all, but it's absolutely true and there's the reason why - I don't want to be a filthy cunt like the perverts *in* porn, and the thought of being with a woman who's *allowed* other men to do that kind of shit to her makes me wanna vomit.

*shrug*

Being a slut is nothing to aspire to - whether you're male OR female.

2:57 PM

Faulconbridge - what an anal cavity on the map..

I'm over halfway back to the milder weather and much cleaner air of my little mountain-top town though, having been down to the disgusting western suburbs for the first time since Christmas - when I was there to buy my watch and favorite aftershave.

Even ignoring the revolting air and heat in Penrith: the volume of people had me kinda dubious about not wearing a face mask for the very first time since this virus became a publically recognized health issue: SO many people packed into such a small geographic area..


Wednesday, 7th October 2020

9:16 PM

Nope: the rice is surprisingly edible, though some actual chicken would've been an idea - if I'd bothered while I was there.

I'll buy more actually.. maybe with filler meat and vegetables of some kind.

8:47 PM

Hmm I've just cleaned and updated much of the code in several other pages, and moved alll the settings that previously sat at the top of each page, into guido.php.

This was something I'd been planning to do but haven't, yet I want to eventually move all the properties, settings and attributes for the various existing pages and any new ones I create into guido's initialize_page() function as well: this means I can now change anything about any page from one collective settings section in guido's file: the page reads all it's settings from guido every time it loads.

It's much more efficient.

I also finally added the new code for the themes to the homepage and will have to write a little trimmed-down version of the get_content() script just to read-in the last few lines written here and spit 'em out as an excerpt ah, there.

As I was doing all that, I found a setting in CPanel I never knew existed that allows me to block IP's, IP ranges and even entire countries from accessing the site if I like, so I went ahead and added the two IP addresses I have on file for her so she'll not be able to view the site again without fumbling on her shitty little iphone screen, and I'm itching to block others right now so - whoever that is keeps reading my shit from a Campbelltown iiNet node on an iPad: you've got a few days to email me who you are and if I get no response I'll block that IP address too.

I could just block all iiNet IP's and be done with it, but who knows: it might be someone I don't mind.

If the only person I end-up having read the site is Michele, that be fine by me: she is after all the only person who's consistently maintained contact, consistently done whatever she can to help when I've needed help and the only one who's given a shit - without fail.

Now I've gotta go cook that Uncle Ben's savoury chicken rice, which I don't think I've ever tasted in my live but since it comes in a sealed pack already half-cooked, I don't envision it being a-grade..

I'll cook it with butter - that'll flavour it up.

2:12 PM

Another podcast that's captured my imagination since hearing about it yesterday, is the Cabin 28 Murders in Keddie California back in the 80s.

A single mother and three of her kids - all had their heads bashed to mush with hammers one night.

Almost 40 years on, they've still got no more than suspicions about who did it, though the cabin was in a resort with several other cabins and occupants surrounding it, which makes me think the perpetrator must have known Sue Sharp to get inside without the mother even having a chance to scream or call for help somehow.

Course Tina Sharp - the 12 year old daughter - was taken by the perpetrators after her mother and siblings had their heads reduced to sloppy goo and her remains weren't discovered for a full three years after the night of the murders - in 1984: by that time were just bones so no DNA could be found, but it doesn't take a genius to figure what the offenders would to abduct a teenaged girl for.

And though this was back in the very early 1980s, there's countless examples of similar crimes and home invasions happening as recently as 2016 that even modern crime-scene forensics haven't been able to solve.

Here's the podcast episode, anyway: The Murder Squad Episode #70: The Keddie Cabin Murders

1:07 PM

The only reason I can see for the difference in user alias is you don't have cookies set or you've got a browser that blocks them, though I've been through the code: if there's no cookie set for any reason it automatically assigns the name "Lurker" to $user_alias so it shouldn't matter a shit whether cookies are enabled or blocked: I've accounted for that.

12:12 PM

I wonder sometimes, especially lately when I look at the header image in the dark theme, whether Guido Possum is still alive.

Even if you exclude factors that might kill him prematurely, he's still of unknown age - all I'd be able to determine is he's an adult male based on his waxy chest crap and aggression - and not knowing how long a brushtail lives, I wouldn't have a clue.

Course he's the same size as a standard house cat, so it stands to reason he'd logically live about the same amount of time, maybe a few years less given he's living like a wild animal instead of some dumb pet who eats and lounges-around waiting for shit to happen.

And I wouldn't even entertain the idea of going back out there again to pitch a tent and see: done that - can't be fucked doing it again: the ants, the flies, the walking a kilometer every day just to get water in 2ltr plastic bottles, the ..actually the rain was great inside a tent, though the storms got me a bit worried here and there..

Still, he'd probably still be alive - if not what 5 years older, since he didn't have any grey tufts of hair and looked like he was firing on all cillender.. cillyn.. fuck whatever - fact I have forgotten how to spell that one word means I don't use it enough to care whether I can spell it or not.


Tuesday, 6th October 2020

6:19 PM

I'm reading - about SQL and JQuery.

*shrug*

There's no legal mandate requiring me to be constantly writing shit here for you to read, especially not when there's not anything to say.

Actually, I'm wondering whether her login logs in correctly or not, because it works fine when I do it though that could be for some other reason.. thought I tried it with the same email it's listing $user_alias as a different alias when I do it opposed to when she does.

Whatever though, that would require me to open outlook and engage a human-being, which I can't be fucked doing since I've already been out and talked to humans today.


Monday, 5th October 2020

4:53 PM

Raining in Adelaide too: all I can hear outside are cicadas.

And it's fixed, you can login again - no password is required but the password box can't be empty, so just mash some random shit in that text-box, though it's a bit late to be suddenly contacting me now.

W)2*t%W{~Oۂ _ 9}*הA

The weather is so nice I've changed all the theme colours for the Visual Studio editor so they match the splash/loading screen..

Actually, I'm unsure whether the weather has anything to do with that and now I've done it I'm looking at the flourescent green and grey's I've always reverted to for the site and thinking that's the colour-scheme I really should be having..


Sunday, 4th October 2020

4:42 PM

There really must be something to that seasonal affective thing because I'm in a much better mood the last few days - simply because the air smells like spring and it's finally mild enough to have a window open without the freezing air getting in and icing-up the room - now the air itself is warm and full of pollen it's just got that *smell* of spring.

I haven't gone anywhere today because I don't need anything which is also excellent, so rather than fuck around with major programming chores I've opted to simply tidy my existing code in the site files while I think-out this encrypted library I wanna make.

It's a very good idea because it's a very useful thing: I've got at least a dozen accounts I use regularly with only a very small rotation of passwords, because I don't at all like creating new, complex passwords I'll likely forget if it's not in that daily login rotation.

I also KNOW how secure both the encryption cipher/algorithm *and* this site itself are: every byte of data to and from the site is SSL encrypted - hence the little padlock to the left in the address-bar of your browser - so anything you type and send to the site as well as all data returned FROM psychaesthetic.com.au is military-grade encrypted too and that's the same SSL encryption I'll be using to scramble everything I add to this 'Vault' I want to create.

'Safety Deposit Box' sounds less crypt-like but OH, 'Crypt' back-references the cryptography involved though nono; I'll find a name I like for it whenever one jumps out at me - like with new pets the name comes to you eventually and the naming of anything is best left to morph and evolve alongside the morphing and evolving of the project idea itself.

Yeah it's very useful.

3:33 AM

Hrm, I really want to stay up and continue adding code to the remaining pages - so far I've got about 70% of all the HTML-based pages plugged-into the _Visitors table and they're all creating their records flawlessly, but there's still a few index.php files that haven't been given their own unique $page_id value.

But I've also been thinking since the other day about another function that'd be pretty cool, utilizing the encryption I used for the user validation keys last week or so: I want to use that encryption to create a page that will allow me to store ALL my accounts and passwords then store them all - fully encrypted - inside the already password protected MySQL server.

The way I figure on doing it isn't to use my account username/password or cookies or any that shit, but to create the two 16-digit cipher keys and keep them written down on a peice of paper, which I'll need to do since there's no fucking way I'm about to remember TWO 16-bit keys full of random characters - I don't even know my own phone number fucks sake..

Anyway, I'll have the cipher keys manually written down here on paper or my phone and they will be all I enter at the 'unlock' page: all account passwords AND usernames will be encrypted with that algorithm I've since learnt is so strong that currently it can only be cracked with a quantum computer, and neither if the two keys will be stored in cookies or the database or anywhere online - if I lose either of the keys I create then any data I add to this 'vault' I'm pondering the creation of will be absolutely, 100% gone and unreadable to me.

I'm unsure how succinct I was i that explaination of what I wanna do, but I'm not any *less* tired than I was an hour ago.

But see, this is why finally starting to learn MySQL is *so* "Oooooo" to me: once I learnt what I could do with that encryption library and then did some further reading-up about the strength of the algorithm itself, I started thinking of ways I could use it and things I could do with it, then started imagining this little virtual safety-deposit box I could create that could not only encrypt a string of text, but ALL the strings of text you could want and then when you add the database in to organize those blocks of encrypted data, well.. and the more I think about it the more I can visualize how it can be layed-out on the screen and features it can have.

The point before I fall asleep here, is that once you've got the basic intended use for any new tool down and know how the tool works, you can start trying to do other things with that tool and with each additional tool you learn to do even the basics with, you can start COMBINING tools - the more tools you have that work together (and as you learn more and more about each tool), the more creative you can be in the application of those tools and the wider the range of uses becomes.

Yeah I know what I fuckin mean anyway.

Oh! Right - daylight savings literally just imposed its dumb grubby self on me when I could've sworn it wasn't this late just a moment ago...

Of course it wasn't.


Saturday, 3rd October 2020

6:07 PM

Assuming you're who I think you are, you've always been a puerile little bitch: go ahead and ignore my request to identify yourself - I've got much more engaging shit to be thinking about than your stale, self-obsessed, prissy bullshit.

And if you're not who I thought, you go in the bitch-bin anyway since I provided my email below and you didn't identify yourself either.

4:50 PM

Tempted to just backspace out everything below: none of it's particularly clear nevermind succinct - I wanted to be succinct, not spend an hour meandering around only to finally arrive at confusing - waste of an hour of.. typing? I guess?

Waste of fuckin' *something* more productive than failing to express a fundamentally simple point in plain English, definately.

Could be Joanne.. or Cathy..

You know how fukn infuriating it is to KNOW someone you KNOW is reading what you write, but NEVER knowing who?

Pretty infuriating.

1:36 PM

So already today, the new _Visitors table I created last night has given me information that is both practically and functionally useful: even in it's raw data form it's shown me something, strange, about the traffic to the site overnight.

In the past twelve hours there have been 70 new page views mostly to this page - words_2 - but with a half dozen or so split between start_0 and info_0 and I see Google has crawled the site like clockwork only an hour ago our time, since I've changed PHP's timezone to Sydney to match my own location.

Have to say too, I don't mind Google's bots indexing the site: they're regular and always clearly identify themselves both in their ISP value - crawl-66-249-69-231.googlebot.com for today's bot - as well as the $user_agent variable which returns the visitors browser type and device operating system: again, today's Google bot clearly announces itself with Mozilla/5.0 (compatible; Googlebot/2.1; +http://www.google.com/bot.html).

Anyway the visitor right before Googles Bot: their ISP is iiNet and they're using either an iPhone or iPad to view the site, so I *know* just glancing at those two details they're a human visitor who's local enough to probably know me.

I don't know exactly who of course, because plenty of people use iiNet and even though the location of the NODE they're connected through is in the western suburbs, that doesn't mean the visitor isn't right here in Katoomba: my own NODE location is Granville after all and I don't even know where the fuck that is.

Woman #7 uses this ISP/device combination, but so does Mandy - though Mandy left the Mountains and moved to Melbourne on Wednesday so it's not the latter of the two.

But I'm getting distracted.. though to give you an idea of how many variables this table/php combo has already started stacking..

This screenshot below is zoomed-out to 30% - the maximum Firefox allows you to back away from a page - and JUST manages to fit all the columns, but what's in this fullscreen image is only about 1/3rd the total records..

Anyway I scroll to the far right of the above table and see the $referring page they've used to visit this page *from* is https://jasonbarber.com and I remember: I pointed that domain here when I bought it - figuring that'd be neater than having the /sandbox/words/diaries/blabla/ after psychaesthetic's domain, but there was instantly shit going on with the CSS and includes.

Even though jasonbarber.com and psychaesthetic.com.au are both my domains and even though they both point to the same /sandbox/ directory and files, jasonbarber.com would report the connection as being INsecure because all the PHP, javascript, images and CSS files belong to psychaesthetic.com.au, so including a PHP script from one domain into the HTML of another domain the browser perceives that is a non-secure connection.

Worst of all though, the stylesheets wouldn't load into the page - only the CSS rules that were actually written inside the HTML page itself would display, so the diary just looked like a hat full of arseholes no matter how many times I refreshed the page.

See, I knew this preamble/explaination would get to be so long that - like one of those jokes - the actual punchline was not worth the setup, though it'snot a joke I'm telling - just a weirdness that makes no sense to me.

The weirdness: why would anybody use jasonbarber.com to access this diary when half the CSS styles were missing and the page would just look, like SHIT that way.

They would certainly KNOW that psychaesthetic.com.au is the correct domain and they'd KNOW the site looks like it's supposed to when accessed from there, so why would this person want to go through jasonbarber.com when the domain doesn't work with the site?

I'm still curious now, though I immediately fixed the other domain so it fully directs visitors here - just so they don't need to put up with a hideous, half-styled page to read.

Email me whoever you are, or text, since you've obviously got both contact methods if you are that close and reading my shit or if you don't: guidopossum@gmail.com - make my day.

12:49 AM

So having messed about with the console until I felt like I'd trimmed the fat, updates the prerequisite basics and accomplished something with it I decided to stop the procrastination and start transitioning the stalk_user() module to upgrade it from the flat text-file to the sexy as-it-gets MySQL database.

As it usually goes, I inadvertently exceeded my own expected productivity: creating and completing the new table as well as all the PHP that fills the sucker with a new 19-field record for every visit to any page, all within two hours :)

All the data farmed from visitor activity is now being fed into an industry-leading, extremely sophisticated Relational Database Management System and will continue to accumulate without any further action from me.

Most importantly, as that MySQL data grows one page visit at a time and one new 19-variable record at a time, I'll have a slowly deepening pool of raw data about the site that can be later used to create all kinds of pretty graphs, statistics, lists or whatever else and there's no hurry to create the code to turn it into something readable yet either: the more data that accumulates, the richer and more detailed the graphs and visual representations will be.

Trickling in: being stored by one of the most powerful data manipulation systems available, so I know I'll be able to do some very polished shit at a later point, with *any* data going in.

That's the forth table I've created in my Sandbox database and while this new table is only compiling information about visitor activity, I've only just started discovering the ground-floor basics of MySQL: as I slowly accumulate data myself about the database itself and the knowledge slowly trickles in the organic database between my ears, I'll be thinking about some of the different uses all kinds of seemingly random data could have and how it can be applied or used with other kinds of data.

Bedtime.


Friday, 2nd October 2020

4:55 PM

I'd begun creating two individual stylesheets for a dark and light console to blend with whatever site theme's active, then thought better of it so removed that shit and changed back to a single shylesheet that matches the colouring of the old terminal windows: deep blue background with cyan text - looks more MS-DOSey, it'll look fine in it's own little box.

I also moved all the javascript that was embedded in the page itself, into a separate *.js file that'll be imported and shared across any page I include it in: this eliminates the need to update the jscript in every page - which I was previously having to do - and means there's only one block of javascript for the console.

Also updated the page navigation and I'll add a few more lines of javascript to read the cookies set by the PHP.

2:54 PM

Last night, I had this dream that was just, fucking insane.

I wanted to write the details down the moment I woke up it was so ridiculous, but being around 2:30 AM, booting-up the laptop and typing would've meant not getting back to sleep so I didn't.

Now I can still remember this crowded room I was in and some arsehole with a fliptop head literally gnawing on my own head while I was trying to address a panel of Monsters Inc weird humanoid creatures and I remember my telling them "Yknow lookat this shit he's *still* chewing my hair while I'm trying to talk" and I wasn't even surprised - just increasingly irritated - before looking down from the chair I was sitting on and seeing some kind of ghoul/vampire dickhead kneeling on the floor in front of me - wide eyed with his mouth open - drooling blood-streaked foam while moaning like the cunt wanted to drain me of blood completely, so I've stopped talking to the panel for a moment, leaned forward, spat in his open mouth and told him to fuck off at which point he's hissed and drawled back away - the classic hollywood vampire trope.

That's just one part of the dream - fucking crazy, crazy shit.

SO crazy, I woke-up with the urge to clap and smiled when I realized my brain had jumbled all that shit together without any kind of script to follow at all: Steven Speilberg and Tim Burton combined could not have done better.

Anyway whatever, I've gotta update the console now it's fully functional and make it more efficient.


Thursday, 1st October 2020

3:33 PM

What else can I do, design-wise to expand the functionality of the site's backend.. heaps I know like, finish all the bits and peices that aren't finished.

Conceptually, I mean.

Currently we've got the diary split three ways, with this main feed shared across light, neutral and dark versions and I thought about separating all three, but figured having the more neutral toned writing included in all three is, better somehow - breaks-up the negativity of the darker version, mostly and means choosing dark or light doesn't mean loosing whatever general or neutral text is written but rather, the darker theme will *include* all the negativity you can chew, while the light theme will include positive thoughts along with the centered shit..

Could add some kind of foreground/background - or inner/outer thoughts in layers of intimacy of thought: this would splice the writing into a three dimensional model of organization that could clearly be presented visually.

Kinda like so, though that's really not the sexiest layout I can't be arsed spending hours on a better one..

That'd be visual way of arranging different levels and tones of thoughts/writing, least.

I've created an SQL table for pages too so I can transition all the document properties, hit counter, lurker-counter, word-count, page id, page excerpt, page byline, author and I'll just stick an 'etcetera' in here instead of writing all the various page attributes, but yeah I'll just leave the table empty while I think of any and all possible properties I might want to have for any given page - only then I'll start creating entries and populating them before finally removing the flat text file I'm using now in favour of the real database.

Then I'll need tables for users and the actual content, though I've got no idea how to arrange the content into dark/neutral/light plus all the mood word groups, PLUS any other sorting tags I want to add in a single row then hmm.. that'll be complicated - I'll also need all the shorcodes and probbly want each paragraph timestamped for future searching/sorting - currently they're just consecutively added to the file as they're written, in reverse though of course.

And the mood_analyzer() will need a table of it's own with all the various word groupings plus the new ones Joanne piled on as well as the god knows how many words in each group..

I'll also want to rewrite the mood analyzer to not only read those words in, but more efficiently tally the various word-groups because at the moment it's doing a separate scan of the entire document for every one of the 150+ words it currently scans and counts: that's like, 150+ consecutive searches of the entire 61,000-word page every time the page loads and though it does it fucking fast, given the amount of times it has to rescan every page loading it's still not exactly efficient.

All sounds like a lot of work and best taken in bite-sized chunks at a time, but now I'm paying three times as much for the upgraded server and hardware, I'm feeling more compelled to actually develop the site opposed to just dribbling shit in a diary that never evolves.

1:00 PM

Almost 350kb this document is, yet even if I kept adding to it until it was ten times it's current size, it'll still only take a second to download.

I've been listening to the American Innovations series on thinking machines again and throughout the 8-part series there's frequently people expressing heavy concern about machine learning reaching the point where we've got some kind of Terminator/CyberNet situation: where the machines teach themselves to such an extent they just go apeshit and start launching weapons or whatever.

Google have created a neural network of computers that can learn by scanning the net, but took 11,000 CPUs to learn that cats and human heads are the most commonly occuring visual objects across a selection of a million youtube clips and though 11,000 CPUs is a fuckload of hardware to achieve such a simple task, it genuinely learnt simply by discerning cats in all their shapes, colours and sizes.

Nobody told the computer what a cat or human head is: the system learnt simply by scanning millions of video frames and whatever text was in them.

What I never heard anyone express concern for once, was what would happen if they actually achieved the level of learning where Siri and other - currently dumb - AI learnt to develop empathy and emotion? Could you imagine feeling guilty about the AI entity in your phone telling you it's miserable trapped in your phone and begging you to kill it? Or having your tablet or laptop manipulate you emotionally?

Considering that the obvious goal has always been to reproduce something in computing that's as close to human as humanity itself, it's not hard to imagine.

I could certainly see a time when machine learning is advanced enough that humans feel guilty about these AI personas in their devices because the AI in their devices genuniely feel emotion.

Maybe not in our life-time, but then again AI and machine learning are the hottest new toys for massive tech companies and they'll make it move faster rather than slower..